I used to wonder why you always hear of the Good ole' boys club, and phrases like bros before hoes, and nothing about the ties that bind women. While women have some of the most fulfilling relationships with each other as friends, those relationships can disintegrate once a guy enters the picture. I've seen best friends battle it out WWF style, for the affections of one guy only to end up without the guy or their friendship when the dust settles. Heck I've even made some less than stellar choices and relished in the theft of a boys affection, in my stupid younger days, and I have had good friends all but disappear once they've found companions. Its so sad that there is no sisterhood, no common bond that we can find to be better friends, and sisters.
The is particularly fresh in my mind after the discovery that a "friend" one that I've confided in and have come to care a great deal for, is well, tramping it up with a married man. Not her first offense and I dare say probably not her last. We've cried together and bonded over broken hearts,and cheating men. So its a bit of a shock when I see her flaunting her nubile young body in front of attached men.
I suppose I always knew what she was like, because the one thing we always laughed about together is how alike we are when it comes to our choice in men, and attitudes toward relationships. I suppose the difference is that I grew up and decided to care more about myself, and stopped allowing myself to believe that I was only valuable if a man chose to leave someone for me. It's even sadder because she's been grown up for a lot longer than I have, and I don't think she'll ever get it.
Now I find it difficult to look at her or even talk to her, not because I find her behavior so infuriating, but more that I see in her something that I recognize. A tired, lonely, girl begging someone, anyone to love her and make her feel that she matters. I can't look because I was once that girl, and I'm sad for my lost friend, I want her to see the light so to speak. I know that tramping is just as addicting as alcohol so I know she'll never change till she wants to. Until then, I guess the rest of my clan and I will just have to get our men inside before midnight.
Whine Fest 2009
15 years ago
1 comment:
i think that if you look, there is a lot out there that attributes to the closeness of female friendship. i value my close-knit group of women friends and feel almost a sisterly bond with them. they are my "soulmates".
i think sadly that some women just don't know how to acheive that type of friendship with other women. for some reason, they view other women as competition. they view the man as the prize and will do anything to acheive it. i think it probably stems from desperation to be loved. interstingly enough, if they allowed themselves to form female friendships, they might just feel that driving NEED for a man to ease up a bit. we all want a good man in our lives, but because of my friendships, i am fulfilled in most ways, and i'm not in a frenzy to find just any man to love me.
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