Thanks for What?

Last night I spent truly magical time with my little group of friends here in Dallas. We drank an obscene amount of wine, and enjoyed a truly delicious feast. Looking back on last night, I started to ponder what exactly is it I have to be grateful for. The economy is crap, I'm a broke college student, a little fed up and tired of working in a place where some of the wealthiest people I know complain about things like their vacation home being ruined by a hurricane, and the world over, governments are committing awful crimes against their own people. I have to wonder what has the world come to? Even in a time of such uncertainty I am grateful for my family. My mom, whose sacrifices have made it possible for me to live a better life and contribute more than she has been able to, which is remarkable because her life's dedication has been to the minds of future leaders. My friends both new and old who have loved me through trials of every kind, and with whom I share "pee in your pants" laugh marathons that make life a joy. The opportunity to go to an amazing school with professors whose dedication and experience will make me a formidable force in whatever venue I take my talents. A job in times when job security is a luxury, A roof over my head, food on my table and the grace and mercy of a God whose unfailing nature and love transcends "religion", "region"," economic background", past and present. As for what the world is coming to, I like to think about it like an Alcoholic loved one; someone who has allowed the darkness around to pull them down into a seemingly incurable malignancy, but who with a bit of self awareness, a willingness to see themselves as apart of something bigger, a systematic plan to make amends and deal head-on with the issues, will rise again and perhaps be far wiser and kinder, than had they never walked through the darkness. Here's a song to a week with ton's to be grateful for. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A

Business Men gone Wild

OK Guys, I get it you're away on an extended business conference and you meet other men who like you, are so excited to be in a nice hotel free of charge, and free of your significant other for a few days. So you get together toss back a few, and laugh about really obnoxious things. I get it you're a man and that's what men do when they get together. There comes a moment when you can walk across that thin line of rip roaring good times to asinine juvenile not since you were a freshman in college rushing a fraternity behavior, and too often I see you cross that line with gusto.

One such boy/man made that decision with far reaching consequences this past week. He drank and drank and drank and laughed harder than I'd ever heard anyone laugh before, he chased sexy young co-eds out the door of our lobby with his compadres and had a mini photo shoot with his boys. Well after the fun had died down a bit he went to the restroom to have some quiet time, where our rather irate Valet found him with his pants around his legs with the door to his stall wide open. We predicted that he'd probably pass out and kill himself causing a Hugh liabilities suite to descend on our innocent Hotel.

Well after a few moments I heard his slightly more sober associate ask him if he was OK, his garbled response came back "yes", the associate then asked "well why are you lying on the floor?" Crap I thought, at least he didn't die no lawsuit today. After he was lead away to his room, our Valet went back to the restroom where he discovered the most vile and unimaginable thing. It seems our friend at some point during his bathroom visit lost control of his bowels, and pooped in his underoo's, which he then deposited in the toilet bowl, not before leaving some more brown waste on the toilet seat itself. I was pisssssed! There are sweet people who have to clean behind you jerk face!! When you leave your hotel room, magic pixie's don't appear to clean it. The hotel is maintained by hard working staff who have kids, friends and family to take care of and don't deserve to have to clean up your biohazard, putrid waste.

This"adult" business man never apologized or left a tip for the cleaning staff, I suspect it was because he was near death when it happened, and had no recollection, but neither did his boozing friend who discovered him. He will however, forever remain the pooped pants man to all on staff and to everyone is our neighboring hotels.

Let this serve as a cautionary tale to you men out there on your own, having a drink and getting in trouble. You may get away with it, you may not, but rest assured we'll be toasting to your stupidity and spreading your tales afar for a long time to come. And yes the reason I have a smirk on my face , and there is endless giggling or sudden silence when you walk into the Lobby, is in fact because we know what you did last night.

I'm not Ok

Its rainy and dark in Dallas, which is perfect because I feel grayed out and disillusioned today. I'm not a big dater, and I very rarely crush and when I do meet someone I'm interested in I generally proceed with caution. But there have been a few times where I had ignored my better judgement, or given into loneliness and made decisions I wish I hadn't; and it almost always those mistakes that follow me around like a lost puppy.

Yesterday I was contacted by one such mistake by both text and email. This "event" was a short lived, hugely unfulfilling experience that I rarely think about, and I am always a little surprised took place when it does pop into mind. I made it clear to this person I thought we were not meant to be anything more than acquaintances..but he missed the message and is trying to pick up where we left off. To make matters worse another person who I was recently really hurt by (should have gone with my initial gut instinct about this one) is coming back into my life in a really unavoidable way.

It's distressing to me on several levels first because in both situations I purposely separated myself from both individuals because I needed space, both to heal and get on with my life, second because these are guys that I don't want to pursue any kind of relationship with now or in the future, especially with guy number 2; the vortex of selfishness. I'm all about forgiving because its necessary to forgive someone in order to move on, but I find that being forgetful sometimes allows mistakes to repeat themselves.

It makes me really sad to have an abundance of men I don't want in my life, all the while hoping to meet guys of substance who have grown up and stopped acting like Frat boys, guys who have integrity and are Friends first then lovers, guys who are kind and want to leave a positive mark on the world. I know I've said over and over again that it's fine, that I can handle having to deal with the heart breaker again, and that I know there has to be some lesson in it for me from God...but for right now... just for tonight. I'm not OK.

How Do You Get Through Life?

I will never cease to be amazed by the absolute absurd nature of the guests in my Hotel. Honestly you'd think that studying and immersing myself in human rights would be where I would confront most of the negative aspects of human nature but noooo, not so friends. I've seen pettiness, greed, condescension, violence,and just unbelievably cruel mean streaks. All from behind a reception desk. But my favorite thing of all time (and by favorite I mean not) is the complete helplessness and co-dependency of grown, supposedly successful and mature adults that ask, cry, and bitch about things that a 12 year old can do.

When I go to another city, I always look up things I want to see, check to see what the weather is like, and find out about public transportation if I'm not driving. At the very least I find out where my hotel is. All this probably seems like common sense, but the amount of people who call the hotel from the airport to find out how to get to the Hotel, and even more where it is..... is ASTOUNDING. I've had people call and ask me for directions from Houston, for those of you unfamiliar with Houston its another major city in Texas located 4 hours away from Dallas. I've had people from New Orleans, another freaking state, call and ask for directions. Hello Dum Dum's its called Map quest, don't get into your car and then call for directions that's stupid, Oh and don't get pissed off because I don't know how to get from every major city in the United States to Dallas. Texas is a big freaking place, I've lived here for 10 years and I still need maps occasionally. Another thing is getting to the airport then calling to ask me to call you a cab...ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!! Every Major airport including DFW has a cab area, or shuttle and if you can't find it there are a thousand kiosks with helpful costumer service agents to help you. I would like to point out that by the time I've called you a cab, and they find someone pseudo close to the airport, and the driver has driven there, you would have been half way to the Hotel. Be prepared, know where you are going and for the Love of God brush off and use the common sense I know must be buried deep in the recesses of your brain

For the Very First Time

I'm so excited to share my thoughts, and the Random happenings in life with all of you. My roommate CC (whose blog you must visit: forkintheroadcc) has been encouraging me to find an outlet for all the craziness I ponder on a daily basis, but I didn't want to start out on a negetive note, it seemed everytime I had something to say it wasn't good. However after a rather frustrating day I agreed. If you stick with me I promise not to use the forum soley for angry ranting, mostly because of the ridiculous people I deal with at work. I hope in the future that something I feel or do will resonate personally with you. Maybe make you laugh out loud, cry a little, or gain a better understanding of the world and how you move in it. Maybe you just need to be distracted at work or from life. Heck I need more than a few Hail Mary's and a drizzling of Holy Water just to walk through the front doors of my Hotel, and I'm not Catholic. Anyway please feel free to share with me and other people that may visit. Thanks for checking in and Happy Blogging.